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I found the following information about Mrs. Andelin at Amazon.com in a review of her book, The Secrets of Winning Men:
Helen Andelin attended both Brigham Young University and the University of Utah where she majored in Home Economics. Her aspirations were to prepare herself to be a competent and successful wife and mother. She married Aubrey Andelin who was in process of earning a degree in dentistry.
During their first twenty years of marriage she and her husband became the parents of four sons and four daughters. This was the period for which she had prepared herself and to which she put full heart and dedication. She was happy and successful and very busy.
Because she was happy and successful as a wife and mother, she
was often sought out by friends who wanted her advice. She
invited interested women to attend a class. The success of the
ladies was so phenomenal that she was urged to organize her
notes so all could have a copy. This resulted in Fascinating
Womanhood which became a national best-seller within a
year.Subsequent writings include the books
The
Secret of Winning Men and All About Raising Children.
Although Helen's writings have made her famous throughout the world, her original aspirations remain the same. The validity of these teachings are seen in the lives of her posterity which to date includes fifty eight grandchildren and nine great grand children.
The following reviews of Fascinating Womanhood show the deep division of women who read the book. Those who blast Helen sadly miss the beautiful truth she teaches.
A reader from North Dakota , October 27, 1999 To love it...or not to love it.... Personally, I love it. I am married to my best friend who doesn't care that I am not "Martha Stewart" or June Cleaver. But lets be honest ladies...sauciness beats nagginess any day of the week. There is a time and a place for complaints...I sliced off a star, because I do feel that women should be encouraged to talk to their husbands about any thing under the sun...but really, I have overheard women barking at their husbands in public (and vice versa.)How unnecessary is that? For me,the techniques in this book (however antiquated in their explaination)are a KEY. NOT A KEY TO MANIPULATION, BUT A KEY TO CONSIDERATION! A reminder to be nice, and try to look my best for the guy I dolled up for while we were engaged. (How many people let themselves go to pot after the marraige is solemnized?? Quite a few.) One should not expect this to be a perfect read...but the harsh critics are just that, harsh critics. The rest of us a reaping the benefits of improved relationships by taking and utilizing the good for our good.
A reader from Texas, U.S.A. , September 9, 1999 YUCK! Either you love it or you hate it. I hated it, but reading it was like looking at a bad car wreck--I just couldn't stop. Is it any surprise it's recommended reading for women in the Amway business? Ms. Andelin suggests we submit to our alcoholic, selfish, abusive, obnoxious, gambling, womanizing husbands, because, after all, their little human frailties are all our fault! BLECH! This books sets feminism back 50 years! Read it for a good laugh, or give it as a gag gift for a wedding shower.
AIMEE SMITH (jajasmith@mindspring.com) from Alabama , September 2, 1999 Wake up and look at statistics It seems that several of the most recent comments are highly negative. I feel this is in direct proportion to our divorce rate in this country. In the 50's, when women stayed home, supported their husbands, and raised their kids, were there shootings at schools? Were there drive by shootings? The women who attack the author based on her religion have never picked up a bible and actually read it. In all truth, this book is simply stating God's instruction, regardless of religion, of women's role in society. We are supporters, peace-keepers, and nuturers. If you have a problem with that, DON'T READ THIS BOOK. No one will force you to buy it. But if you are struggling at home, or internally, this book can help you to refocus and center your life.
deacondanny@earthlink.net - Anna P. from San Diego, CA , August 30, 1999 TRASH This book is trash! Read it only in order to avoid being the childlike, manipulating, patronizing woman it advocates women to be! I agree wholeheartedly with commentators who laughed out loud and were sickened by this book! My aunt gave it to me as a gift when she found out I was getting married, and I read it, but I will never embrace the concepts that are presented in this book about women putting men on a pedestal and putting on a show to make them feel big! Who would want to stay married to the neurotic guy described in this book that needs to be worshipped by a submissive, childlike wife? Thank God my husband loves me and respects me for me and I don't have to play dumb!
A reader from NORTH AMERICA , August 26, 1999 THE ATHERE OF THISS BOOK NEEDS TO WAKE UP THAT THIS BOOK IS TRING TO PUT US BACK TO, THE 19TH CENTRY
A reader from Utah , August 9, 1999 A ridiculous and hurtful book. Reading this book I didn't know whether to laugh or burst in to tears or throw it across the room. Something about it just epidimizes every argument I've ever had with my own LDS culture about feminism. Fallacy piles upon fallacy -- the entire book is based on the premise that men are in independently incapable of love, and that women thus have to don an entire persona not their own in order to manipulate men into loving them. Although I'm not married myself, I have yet to see a marriage that I have any admiration for with any similarities to the recommended relationships in this book. I'd like to think I could marry a man who would love me for my own talents and abilities, not for my ability to wash the dishes and inability to mow the lawn. I want to marry for friendship as much as love, and this book denies that possibility. Where is there room for intelligent and worthwhile conversation in what this book prescribes? It's fine if a man needs to feel protective in order to love a woman; I'm not going to become weak and simpering to indulge this. What is so wrong with women who are self-sufficient, independent, intelligent, or even, God forbid, poor housekeepers? I refuse to believe that men *can't* love women like this. Andelin's citing of Dickens and Hugo only emphasizes that she is espousing nineteenth century fallacies and prejudices.
In any case, I doubt any book in the history of the written word has done more dammage to adolescent girls. What gives Andelin the right to outline the limits within which girls can develop themselves? I only wish this book would go out of print and stay out, and stop undermining everything women through the ages have worked to hard to achieve.
brenda.roberts@email.swmed.edu from United states , June 8, 1999 Excellent reading for those who want to make a change At first I was rebellious while reading. I thought (another one of those king of the jungle books) but, I saw a lot of myself in this book. Thank you Helen for this much much needed source of inspirational information. I once listened to a lady on a talk gospel show begging her husband to come back home, I wanted so desperately to find this woman and give my copy of this fascinating book to her. I felt her pain and I could identify. After prayer, reading this book, and making a change within myself, the wall has come down. We are taking baby steps but at least we are still together. Thank you Thank you Thank you and God Bless you. You saved my LIFE. I was on the verge of giving up! literally......
A reader from Kansas City, MO. USA , May 25, 1999 Great Book It's amazing how it works... just try it. not long before you will have men flocking you like a goddess.
as104@lafn.org from California , May 20, 1999 The truth in Fascinating Womanhood. Fascinating Womanhood reveals the true meaning of patience, understanding, and acceptance when dealing with members of the oppisite sex, whether it be your husband, brother, father or friend.Trying to understand the characteristics of a male is expressed in this magnificent collaberation of stories.Accepting a male in every aspect and exploring the joy and privellege of being a woman are the areas so eloquently defined in this exciting and inspirational book.
A reader from New York , May 17, 1999 Helen Andelin's ideas are right on! In spite of the fact that some women find Helen Andelin's ideas antiquated, she knows what she's talking about and her methods WORK! They worked for me; they worked for my daughter. Go for it. It's worth a try. You won't be sorry.
A reader from Massachusetts , May 9, 1999 This book lies Under the guise of helping women improve their marriages, Helen Andelin, who has NO academic or counseling credentials (at least, none that she mentions), purports to tell all women how to have a happy marriage by submitting to their husbands.
The lies are as follows: 1. No supporting documentation AT ALL besides case studies, unless you count fictional characters from Victor Hugo and Charles Dickens. 2. A purportedly Christian model of marriage, even though Andelin herself is LDS (Mormon), which is NOT a Christian church and has a different attitude toward women than Christianity (or Judaism, or Islam, or Buddhism). 3. It claims that women facing domestic violence should try Fascinating Womanhood before leaving. This is not only a lie, it is flat out dangerous. I wonder how many "fascinating women" have stayed married at the cost of broken bones and teeth? 4. An incredibly condescending view of men, as fragile creatures who can be easily manipulated into "cherishing" their wives, which seems to mean buying them lots of presents. 5. Most women in America don't work for luxuries - unless you count food, clothing, and shelter as "luxuries." This is an incredibly outdated view, supported by NOTHING but the author's belief. Has she truly read no census reports later than 1960? Doesn't she realize that in many parts of the country a couple can't afford a two bedroom apartment on one salary? Or that working class women frequently are the primary breadwinners?
I could go on and on, but this book is nothing more than yet another example of misogynism masquerading as good advice. My husband actually grew *angry* at the veiled insults to men (not to mention the overt insults to women!), and said that if he ever caught me using such nonsense, he'd leave me at once.
Absolutely horrible. If a woman's marriage is so bad that she feels compelled to do as this book suggests, she has my profound sympathy. Too bad Helen Andelin doesn't suggest that "woman, queen of earth's creatures" solve her marital problems by developing some self-respect and expecting her husband to act like an adult!
A reader from Washington, USA , April 25, 1999 The Original Feminism My grandmother, gave Fascinating Womanhood, to my mother and told her to read it. My mother and I thought it was just another funny old-fashioned "thing" that Gramma was giving away. We thought it was "anti-woman" and so backward. When I moved out to get married, my mother didn't want the book so I took it with me. Then one day, about a year into my marriage, I tore through all my old things to find it. My husband and I, were both at the end of our ropes with this marriage. I was so naive.I thought we would just get along because we loved each other. I remembered Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin, and how my husband exhibited the very traits that she wrote of. So I dug it out and devoured every word. It described my husband exactly! It described how men and women are so different in thought, emotion and action. And it went beyond other marriage books I had read by telling me exactly what to do about it and when and how to do it! The next day, I decided to try the first assignment. The first assignment that is done towards the husband is: 1."Tell him something like the following: "I am glad that you are the kind of man you are. I can see that I have not understood you in the past and that I have made many mistakes. But, I am glad that you have not allowed me to push you around. You have not been like putty in my hands, but have had the courage of your convictions. Will you forgive me for not understanding you and let me prove to you that I am happy that you are the kind of man you are?...2. Look to his better side. 3. Make or Buy a little "Love Booklet" to write down the loving things your husband does or says as you begin to apply the principles of Fascinating Womanhood. Write any favorable reaction to the above assignments.Though, it wasn't an earth-shattering response, my husband actually reacted very positively! I just knew it was the answer I was looking for. Reading it also made me feel that we weren't alone in our problems, but actually typical. Now, I can understand my husband and why he is different. I rejoice in my role as a woman, and wife and (someday) mother. And I delight in my every-day duties as a wife. I now look forward to every day with my husband. I wish I could say that we never fight but every time we do, I can think back and see that if I had followed the book's principles better it probably wouldn't have happened and if it did I could've handled it better. I wish more ladies had the "joy in marriage" that it can bring! I know many women, like I was, trying to appear that they have a good marriage and desperately searching for answers on the inside. Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin, directs women to universal principles and takes them to their logical conclusion, through practicality. I hope that more people will read the book and share it with as many women as they can. And maybe someday, our country will be known as a country that represents happiness in marriage and not an increasing divorce rate.
A reader from TX , April 23, 1999 One of my all time favorite books. I have been married for 15 very rewarding and exciting years and I love homemaking and being a wife and mother. Most women naturally do and here is a rare book full of encouragement and timeless wisdom. I found the section on understanding men especially helpful and also the insightful chapter on the feminine manner and worthy character. My most favorite chapter describes the domestic goddess, who lives in the present, doing her duty, giving all her love and attention to it, like a little girl playing house, doing the same things over and over again but with great dedication and enthusiam. Never in a rush to get it done with and on to other things. With the right attitude, all our activities, big or small, are joyful and this book says a lot about right attitudes. I think one of the most important points Mrs. Andelin brings out is that happiness isn't just a matter of "deciding to be happy". It requires understanding and submission to nature's (the Supreme Lord's) laws. Ultimately it is a matter of following God's (whom I call Lord Krishna) plan in order to be successful in life, marriage or any other activity. Only then can one have the proper vision. To see things how they really are. I plan to pass this book on to my daughter. It should be required reading for all young women. Thank you so much Mrs. Andelin
A reader from Minnesota , April 21, 1999 Would be repulsive in the 19th century, never mind the 21st "Fascinating Womanhood" is overwhelmingly popular among the followers of the Unification Church (i.e., the Moonies), who have said that this is a near-perfect depiction of how women should relate to men. You'd think THAT might clue in some of the women who've given this book five stars...
A reader from Colorado , April 18, 1999 Most damaging to women I would prefer to give it no stars...My mother-in-law read this book faithfully at the beginning of her marriage 49 years ago. After she told me this little fact I understood her motivation completely. This book will teach you to become as she did: subservient, dominated, doormatted, downtrodden, ruled and made to feel like a second-class citizen with no brain or thought-process of your own. By all means, go for it if that's what you desire! She took it to heart and used it like a Bible, much to her husband's delight. And just recently started to wonder if maybe she made a mistake. A kind, loving woman has been reduced to a scared, insecure person with absolutely no sense of self-confidence other than what her husband tells her she ought to have. A sad, sad commentary on the way women used to be viewed and unfortunately, obviously, still are, judging by the fact that it's still in print and so popular with so many [misguided] souls. I feel sorry for anyone who follows this book!
A reader from Hawaii, U.S.A , February 8, 1999 I followed this book thoroughly for two years This book attracts you if you are having marriage difficulties because it promises you all you would wish for-- to be loved, valued and cherished. I read this book during a time in my life when I was desperate to be noticed and loved again by my husband. I followed it exactly, rereading a chapter every night for two years. I believed what it promised. I consider those two years to be the years in my life where I made the worst choices I've ever made. This book ruined many areas of my life and did not help my marriage in the long run. It brought peace at first since my husband was happy not having to grow and to have me become more and more "fascinating" while he stayed just as unfascinating as ever. The problem with this book is that it's foundations are false. People are responsible for their own behavior and if your husband is irresponsible and isn't loving you it is a problem with him, not with you. He needs to be confronted and change. It doesn't matter how "fascinating" you become. This book could only work if you had a really great husband and it was you that had all the problems, but even then if you followed this book he'd lose respect for you. Please, if you have marriage problems, go and see a marriage counselor, a trained psychologist, so you can base your decisions on accurate foundations. Don't give up your career or stop developing yourself. Don't believe the problem is all with you, that you just aren't "fascinating" enough. Don't dress like an old-fashioned weirdo and be overly self-concious about feminizing all your gestures. This book really will make you confused and waste precious time in your life! The only reason I gave it three stars was because the author is very insightful about what women really desire- it's a pity she doesn't know how they can get it. Read "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend or if you're single, read "Safe People" by the same authors. Hope I've been able to save someone from "Fascinating Womanhood". Then I'll feel what I've been through is worth it. By the way, the author is not a christian, she's mormon.
christie@gbasin.net from Utah , January 25, 1999 This book is nothing short of a life changing event I know alot of the ideas in this book seem to be old and outdated but truly once you have read the book and really put the authors advice to work in your life I can promise you great things can happen. I work with women in domestic violence & rape situations and the last thing I would want to see is a women bowing down to a man. This book teaches women how to improve themselves and by so doing helping to improve others around them (not just their husbands). I'v had this book and Fascinating Girl for about 12 years & it has changed my life for the better. If I had not found these books I probably would have married an Alcholic man and been very unhappy. But instead I have a great husband who is very loving & sensative & a great life. I can't thank Helen enough for the great gift that she gave to me when she wrote this book.
A reader from Nashville, TN , January 3, 1999 Submission doesn't mean you're a doormat! I failed at one marriage and didn't know what went wrong. A year into my second marriage (that was going well) I read this book. I saw the mistakes I had made before and how to fix them before I ended up down the same road I went down the first time. Also- acting in a way that's pleasing to a man does not mean you're any less an equal to him. After all- you want him to act pleasingly to you! You can't submit to someone who is not your equal. A relationship is about people working together. This book teaches you how to work with your husband and have a joyful marriage to last a lifetime. I highly recommend it to all brides and wives.
A reader from COLUMBUS,OHIO , January 1, 1999 I HAVE A TWENTY FIVE YEAR TESTIMONY FOR THIS BOOK I was shocked to read the bad reviews of this book. I first received this book from my sister to help me save a ten year marriage that I nor my husband appreciated. I put it on the shelf for two years saying "YEA RIGHT ! I DON'T THINK SO" I only took it off the shelf after I was ready to learn the tricks of the trade for the next guy. You can't imagine my lack of respect and out right bitterness I had for my husband. There was no other guy I was even tring to see so I decided to use him as my guinea pig. I'M WRITING THIS BECAUSE I KNOW THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE JUST LIKE I WAS. Even ones that may have written some of these bad reviews. WHEN I WAS ANGRY WHICH I WAS MANY TIMES I LEARNED TO CHANNEL IT TO THE PROBLEM AND NOT HIM. So Many things to say..One of our daughters is 18YRS old and considering marriage.I'm ordering her a copy now..I just happen to wander here and find these bad reviews. I'm a christian woman now of fifteen years and we cherish our marrige. We both understand it's easier to keep a job than a marrige together. OUTDATED?? THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD THE BIBLE WAS..GARBAGE?? SEARCH YOURSELF.
A reader from Raleigh, NC USA , December 18, 1998 Fascinating Womanhood This book was written 20+ years ago and still has present, everday, practical advice for women wanting to understand their feminity and appreciate the art of being a woman. I liked the way Ms. Andelin tells us how men think. That way, we can better understand how men expect us to be. At times, their ideals are way off the mark (the mark being the Bible as the standard) because men are so influenced by society's view of women. Ms. Andelin puts this all in perspective for you, which makes you feel better about yourself. We can't all look like Pamela Anderson, nor do we have to do everything in the home like Martha Stewart, but we can strive to be our personal best, keeping things like beauty and homemaking in balance. Sometimes we just act on how we were raised, disappointing ourselves and others, and it's good to know that as ladies we can change; refine ourselves and polish up our God-given, womanly attributes. Very insightful. This book can be for marrieds or single ladies. One complaint - there's a fine line between being child-like and acting childish, and the content seems to say that acting childish is OK. Regardless, this is a great book--work it, girls!!
A reader from South Carolina , December 7, 1998 This book is insightful as well as a "good read"! As a seventeen year old with a domineering attitude I always wondered why guys just respected me, but never wanted to "date" me. My mom let me borrow her copy of this book and I was amazed at all of the things that I had done wrong! I am an excellent student who doesn't believe that a man is better than a woman, but through this book, I saw how a man should be treated. Just like women don't want a guy to say, you've got big arms (even though it's a compliment for them) and so we shouldn't tell them things that they don't appreciate! I am all for this book, and after a thourough use of my mom's, I'm buying her a new copy to replace the "used" one.
A reader from usa , December 2, 1998 a facinating relic From the standpoint of a woman 25 years old, this book reads like something out of the far past;similar to Victorian and Edwardian ettiquette manuals. The book is interesting to read, though most of the advice sound outdated and just plain bad. Still, it is a very funny book in some places where it intended no humor.
A reader from Tennessee , November 14, 1998 Trash I wrote a college paper about this book along with "The Rules" and I have no regrets doing so. This book is an outdated piece of trash that is not good enough for my garbage can. It basically says to act like a childish moron and worship your husband as God. I read an original copy from my college library which said that if your husband hits you, its all your fault! Hopefully, that has been changed! I believe that men and women are equally intellegint and we don't have to settle in "traditional" domestic roles to be happy. Wake up, people!
A reader from NY , November 10, 1998 Looking for an easy way out? If you are tired of working at an adult relationship, buy this book. It is full of helpful tips on how to shrink yourself down to the right proportions for an insecure man who can't handle marriage to an intellingent, strong, grown-up woman. There is some good advice (on being loving, admiring, and accepting of your mate) all mixed up with a bunch of sexist, woman-hating (or is it woman-fearing?) nonsense. In the movie Pleasantville, there is a scene in which the mother, who has finally become "real" and is now in color, puts gray make-up on her face to try and fit back into her fake world. This is an excellent metaphor for what the author of this book is trying to get women to do. Please, women, forget this nonsense, and take the challenge to be "real" - a real man will appreciate you more, and take pride in your strength.
Marsena Cook (kitten73@hotmail.com) from McRae, Georgia , October 22, 1998 Fascinating distortion of womanhood! I read some of this book at my college bookstore. Even Marabel Morgan's THE TOTAL WOMAN is better than this mindless garbage! I believe in the Biblical concept of loving submission to one's husband, but this book twists this concept into mush. As Florence Littauer says, "submission doesn't mean stupidity"! I'm glad that God blessed me with a wonderful husband who appreciates an outspoken career woman like me! Contrary to the author's opinion, NO man is attracted to a wife who immaturely expresses her anger by stomping her foot, throwing childish temper tantrums, and putting all the burden of decision-making on him as this books suggests. And since when is femininity determined by the type of fabrics a woman wears (the author suggesting that women shouldn't wear denim, tweed, etc. because they're not feminine)? I've never heard anything more insulting to one's intelligence. It's books like this that have led to the rise of domestic violence (physical, emotional, and sexual) in the church and society as a whole. I recommend books like WAKE UP, WOMEN! by Florence Littauer and WAKE UP, MEN! by her husband Fred; these books teach husbands and wives how to fulfill their God-given roles with common sense!
A reader from Pensacola,FL , September 24, 1998 Loved it So much! What a Marriage Saver! Since I have read this book my marriage has gone places it never went before. It has totally reformed my life and my husbands. He thinks of, Respects,and cares for me more than he used to. This book is what makes dull marriages happy and fun.
A reader from Kansas , September 23, 1998 This book saved my marriage. If you are the type of woman I am - intelligent, hard-working, creative, thinking, and marriage-loving, you will enjoy this book. I had all the right motives, but all the wrong moves. Fascinating Womanhood helps women to really understand men and give them the things they need to be truly happy and fulfilled. This book is not full of manipulation or acting, but good advice about needs of men and women and their roles. It teaches you how to be compatible with men, not in competition with them, and how to happy in your sphere and not struggling in their's. The book is a bargain at any price.
dirkt@ior.com from USA , September 22, 1998 life-changing After a year of marriage I was at the end of my rope. I realized that I really didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand men or know the feminine power I had to make a marriage work. I had read many marriage books and they were too much theory and not enough solid solutions. When I found Fascinating Womanhood I thought it was too "old-fashioned" and "anti-woman". But, when I started to read further and try it out, I was amazed. It gave me clear assignments that went right along with the female instincts I had always had but was told wouldn't work. But, they did! My husband responded immediately to each particular assignment in a way that I had always wanted him to respond to me. It was then that I knew that through this book I had the power to make it work even if he never tried. And as I acquire the principles of Fascinating Womanhood into my character more and more everyday; I am living the romance that I'd dreamed of as a child. Thank God for my femininity and Fascinating Womanhood!
chriskate9@aol.com or Ann Doty from Chicago area soon to be Utah , July 29, 1998 Scary book teaches women to look for power-hungry pedophiles This book may help you "land a man" but I wouldn't want the kind of man that thinks of me as cute and incapable of rational thought! The author takes some valid points: that women should be feminine and there should be tenderness in a relationship . . . and grotesquely distorts them. In her ideal marraige, it seems, the man and women never really communicate but the woman play-acts, manipulates and insults her husband so he feels like a big, strong brute who could crush her if he wanted to. I plan to excel in "Manly areas" like thinking and handling finances, thank you very much! Before you discount me as some rabid feminist who hates men and doesn't own a dress---you should know that I think that marraige and family are the highest calling a woman could have. I believe in being feminine--but that isn't synonomous with dependant deviousness in my book. If you love to hate this book, check out "The Fascinating Girl" by the same author and &! quot;The Man of Steel and Velvet" by her husband. I have the whole collection and laugh and feel sick over them regularly.
A reader from Florida , June 29, 1998 Best Marriage Manual for Women Ever! This book is the greatest! My mom was a woman's libber to the max. If a man didn't make her happy she showed him the door. After three marriages ended in disaster she started applying the principles in this book. The results were dramatic. You can bet that got my interest up! I have been applying the principles of Fascinating Womanhood in my marriage with all my heart and I can tell you it's awesome. My husband finds me feminine and gentle and treats me like a queen. He treats me so tenderly and sensitively and adores me. I adore him too! Thanks to God and this book I am the happiest married woman in the world!
A reader from Greenville, South Carolina , May 19, 1998 a timeless, priceless, gem of a book The woman's movement is so strong in this world today, we tend to forget which sex we are, we women. I read Fascinating Womanhood years ago, put some of it into practice, and found it works, my husband looked at me as a feminine woman, what a delight, even opened doors for me. I then let it slide for years I did not read it and rued it, my husband reacted in same, he would open doors, and be gallant to some other women, but not to me. Thank God, I have found the precious book again, it is beginning to work, I need now to have patience because I did not act as a truly feminine woman for so many years. We also have four sons, and pray they will find fascinating womanhood women to marry...it is not easy to always do what is right and rewarding, this helps to remind us, it is so precious, and Helen Andelin is the kind of mother I never had, God Bless her...
A reader from Mountain view, CA , January 20, 1998 Gave me clearer understanding of my husband/men I found the chapters on understanding how men are put together very good. I remind my self of them often. I may not agree or attain all that the author says, but I've kept this book for many years and find myself refering to it again and again. If women are honest they will find what the author says is really true.
A reader from Chicago, Illinois , September 20, 1997 A marriage classic, updated for today Although FASCINATING WOMANHOOD embraces a very traditional view of gender-based differences, it helps to explain many current conflicts between men and women. In a "unisex" age, this book takes a strong stand for the importance of honoring the differences between men and women. FASCINATING WOMANHOOD provides a time-tested method of strengthening the bond between husbands and wives and teaches how to resolve marital discords. This marriage classic can improve communication between spouses and renew romance. The program outlined in this book is especially helpful for women who missed having a strongly feminine role model in childhood
A reader from Austin, Texas , September 2, 1997 Helped me understand the men in my life! I read this book and threw it out. Then I read it again, and gave it away. Then I read it several more times and each time more and more of it made sense. I used some of the techniques on my father, especially the childlike way of expressing anger. It worked! I still use it occasionally. That technique allows me to blow off steam without creating a nasty scene. And though the man may laugh, he usually remembers what irritated me, which is what I wanted in the first place! Re: the man handling the finances: if you read history closely you'll discover the man may have handled the finances, but the woman often had her own cash stash in the cookie jar! For those who want an update on what Andelin is doing now, check out her web page at www.andelin-2000.co
A reader , January 20, 1997 Not Politically Correct, But a Classic Helpful to Many Though the equality of women in the world is increasingly well established, traditional power relationships in the the home--and the bedroom--still provide a valid model for many. The male as responsible, protective HoH (head of household) and the female as compliant, cherished helpmate may be scorned by some, but may be vastly preferable to other ways that lack tenderness, respect, and intimacy. This book is a course on how a woman, acting unilaterally, can evoke the best in her man and revitalize her marriage, by pressing the inborn buttons that bring out the master in him, in the best sense. (To master his home life, a man must first master himself.) The author uses heroines from classic literature to express ways a woman can endearingly reshape her primary relationship in the modern world. In print for over a quarter-century, the book is itself a classic that sells because millions of women have found it helpful. Its advice needn't be accepted uncritically--pick and choose, experiment and adapt; even a single helpful approach could make a difference for couples confused by conflicting messages from traditional and feminist views of the long-term monogamous male-female relationship. Worth a read
A reader , December 12, 1996 This book is almost too frightening to be funny. This is not, in fact, the classic book that recommends meeting your husband at the door wearing nothing but saran wrap. No, this is the book which "assigns," at the end of one chapter, the task of handing over responsibility for the finances to your husband. It suggests that you say, "Honey, I don't want to be responsible for the finances anymore, because it is a burden to me. I know it will be easier for you, because you are a man." Probably the most frightening suggestion in this book is how to handle conflict. It suggests that women express anger in a "childish" manner; "Pout, toss your curls, and stamp your foot." The object of the exercise is to make your husband think you're cute, and thus to feel protective of you (and then presumably to give you what you want). While this book was definitely good for some entertainment at a party, I hesitate to suggest buying it new, for fear of rewarding the author. (Does anyone know what ever became of the author or her eight children? I'd be just fascinated to find out....
