Written Roles of Conduct
Covey made a tremendous breakthrough when he discovered that individuals, families, businesses and organizations should write a value and mission statement. We should go one step further and write detailed statements of rules of conduct.
Prenuptial contracts are a good example. Brian Tracy writes against them saying that they are self-fulfilling prophecies of failure. Mr. Tracy is wrong on this one. In a book on premarital contracts an author gave good reasons to have one. One is that it is a powerful exercise in goal setting and value statement formation. When a couple is in an emotional state of intense romance they tend to overlook the harsh realities of life and think that feelings are all that is needed.
Another reason he gives is that the State has made a contract anyway. And the State can make decisions that are wrong or against the wishes of the parties involved. He gives several examples where judges ruled in divorce and in probate cases that were not right and could have been avoided if the parties had written a prenuptial agreement. In business, it is smart to have a legal contract that spells out the responsibilities, rules and reprimands of not living up to the rules -- even if it is between two brothers who love each other. People fall out of love and some of the bitterest fights are civil wars between family members. Some divorces are nasty. Each side accuses the other of being wrong and never admit to their own wrongs.
But we shouldn't make lists, rules and regulations just because of potential lawsuits. We need detailed lists of rules of behavior to create harmony in our relationships.
We need to write and constantly rewrite lists of dos and donts and punishments for every aspect of our lives. Once I worked for a cab company. I remember they had an employee manual that you were asked to read and then sign. There were many dos and donts lasting several pages. The owner had several examples of negative behavior that he would punish. If anyone showed up to work drunk, they were fired on the spot and would never be able to work there again. One rule was that a man's hair could not be very long. If his hair touched his collar he would be called in and told to cut it. If he did not then he was fired. Just for being called in to the office he was given one demerit on his record. If an employee received 3 demerits in any 6 month period, then he was fired. The point I'm making is that every organization needs to write a detailed list of dos and donts and punishments.
There was nothing in the taxi manual that specifically mentioned that a driver should not have sex with a woman in the cab when he was on duty. The manual should have been a thick one that mentioned this and many other things an employee can and can't do. There may have been some vague statement in the manual that said a taxi driver must act legally or responsibility. The problem with vague, undefined statements is that people don't always agree on what is correct behavior and because of the total incompetence of public education and parents in general not teaching their children, most people do not even know some of the basic laws that police enforce. And even if they somehow absorbed these dos and donts people are so in a fog they need to see them in writing and they even need to talk to a person of character about every single one of the laws face to face. And even still because human beings are so low spiritually, undisciplined, led by their baser instincts, and are essentially morally lazy, they need to hear it over and over again. Father says each person should read the Bible at least three times. Have you? Do you know anybody? I don't. You probably don't like the word "brainwashing" but how about the words - "repeat," "drill," "teach by repetition."
Fallen man is stupid in not writing down all the negatives and make people look at them and sign a pledge to never do even one of these evil and immoral deeds. It is wrong to not make a will. Most people don't and when they do they usually don't update it because of the immaturity of not looking at the harsh realities of life.
Almost everyone gets married and the government is so out of it that there is no pamphlet given to the emotional couple that gives even the simplest explanation of what marital laws they are signing to abide by when they sign their marriage contract. Mankind has been muddling along for thousands of years. Everyone is basically running on one cylinder instead of all eight. People get married and have children and spend their time at some pathetic level of love and order. Now half of all marriages end in divorce and bitter custody fights. Business partnerships end in court battles. Countless hours are wasted in probate courts because of different views people have on how to distribute the assets. People are squeamish about death. They don't want to talk about "negative" things. But negative things happen all the time and people should grow up and acknowledge them.
Sadly, children should hear these things too. Every family should have a written constitution that spells out what is proper and what is not. One of the most devastating negatives in the world is the taboo against incest. This should be faced. How many cases of incest might have never happened if families talked openly about it, watched a movie or video that dramatized it and then signed a form, read it aloud and pledged that they will not touch their family in an inappropriate manner?
What if every day or every week or once a month a police officer had students at school say to him out loud and sign a contract that they will not steal cars, hit people, shoot innocent people with guns, spit on people, throw things at people, raise their voice to their parents, have premarital intercourse, take drugs, etc. The list is long. Would we have as much divorce and juvenile delinquency and addictions if people would understand the power of the written word and write down all of these negatives and pledge to not do them?
The founding fathers said very little in the Constitution. They should have written more. Not only should we write all the bad things but we should write all the good things and even write reasons why we should do the right things and not do the wrong things. Adam and Eve were running on empty. They didnt have enough reasons to keep them from running with their emotions. The founding fathers say the President must be over 35 years old and a few other external things. They say he can be removed from office if he commits "high crimes and misdemeanors." What the hell does that mean? They should have written more. It would be great if people could write it today but men and women in the 20th century have far less character and intelligence than those men who wrote the Constitution.
James Madison, John Jay, and Alexander Hamilton wrote the classic Federalist Papers that everyone read at the time of the founding of America. They wrote these great statements to influence Americans to make America a great country. Each one of them in at least one of the papers they wrote used the word "virtue" in respect to the President. Each said that the President should be a person of great "virtue." They also said he should have "wisdom" and "ability." But virtue is the word each one used and emphasized. Virtue? What is that to 20th century mankind? No one even uses the word anymore. What is virtue to socialists and feminists? Clinton and most Americans feel that he is doing a good job even though he has oral sex in the oval office while he is on the phone to a congressman in the middle of a work day.
Does he have "virtue?" I dont think so. But America could care less. Look at Americans walk down the street. Excuse me for being "negative" and not seeing things "positively" and seeing all the "goodness" and "love" but I see obese women who are bosses to men in many businesses. Even in our military and fire departments. Tocquevilles prediction has come true -- weak men and disorderly women.
What if Clinton had to read out loud, sign and pledge to not do 1000 detailed disgusting things while he is President and one of them is having sexual relations with anyone other than his wife? The founding fathers assumed that one. Clinton publicly explains that oral sex with a bimbo is not "sexual relations." And he is a Yale law graduate. So much for higher education and college degrees. Americas schools have not taught wisdom and morality. And most of America sits likes morons in front of the TV they are addicted to and nod their head in agreement to Clintons nonsense and denounce those "negative" commentators who are probably right wing religious nuts anyway.
How can Clinton say he is a member of the Southern Baptists when they say the woman is submissive to the husband and this is a major tenet of their belief? Clinton laughs when he hears this. Why doesnt he join Hillarys church, the Methodists, who denounce patriarchy and condone and encourage homosexuals to join their church?
We have to face reality and do the things that bring success. We need to write our dos and donts in great detail and repeat them constantly but not in a way that it degenerates into a meaningless chant the Boy Scouts do when they fly through the Scout oath and law and never talk deeply about what "morally straight" means. Is there one Boy Scout in the world that knows that "morally straight" means no premarital sex? Has any scout leader ever said it even once to his troop, let alone face to face and discussed the pros and cons and morality of it? I am an Eagle Scout and I have a son that is one. Neither of us ever heard just what morally straight is. The president of the Boy Scouts of America has never written a list of what is moral and what is not. The founder Baden Powell said a few things at the turn of the century but even he didnt spell it out clearly.
To be successful we need to go far beyond Zig Ziglars
goal setting for money and loss of excess weight, and we need to go
far beyond Coveys short little vague mission and value
statements. We need a lengthy dos and donts and whys and
punishments and rewards. We need massive rules that are God centered.
We can always refine the code of conduct but we must emphasize the
side of overkill and too much repetition rather than muddling along
assuming everyone knows men shouldnt have sex with sheep.
Lets write down everything we can think of and constantly
remind ourselves. If we dont then we will be moved by Satan who
puts Michael Jordan on TV every 15 minutes telling you how great a
Big Mac is. A Big Mac is a drug as deadly as cocaine. And then we
need to indoctrinate people to not turn to government force to stop
Jordan from teaching that high fat food is good and that his earring
is cool. That use of force is worse than what Jordan does.
Government has taken over the education of the young. Parents have given up and so we have kids shooting their parents. One kid in Oregon killed his parents who were both school teachers and then went to school and killed and maimed some students. The governor of Oregon then announced that no one was to blame. Oh? I suppose these things are just chemical imbalances of the brain and all we need is for science to find a pill we can all take to make us act right.
Religious leaders should have judged the boys mother for working outside the home instead of staying at home and taking care of her son. Religious leaders are a joke. Billy Graham is a joke. Sun Myung Moon is not a joke like the media makes him out to be. He speaks of absolutes but he has not been able to explain to his own kids how to act right. He expected Won Pil Kim and other Korean Leaders to do it but they failed and treated the true children like the ancient Chinese who groveled before idiotic child emperors. Won Pil Kim should have spanked Hyo Jins butt and True Parents should have been told "negative" things about Hyo Jin and advised he get no money for his drugs and women. But Father had only sycophants who saw Hyo Jin as the Aztec Sun God. Perhaps they feared they would be banished from the court for bearing bad news. Because of these gutless wonders everything fell apart. People must have the guts to speak out against evil. The greatest evil is the teachings of Marx and Stanton. We must shout anti-Communism and anti-feminism from the rooftops. Michael Jordan gets hundreds of millions of dollars for teaching his poison while he wears an earring. Oprah is almost a billionaire. She is like a God in America. She says that she does not "need a man to be whole." Hillary is the most admired woman in the world and Oprah is the second. Time magazine put Oprah on the cover and a woman wrote a letter to the editor saying she is one of the greatest "spiritual leaders of our time." How long can America survive with this kind of thinking? Oprah is a tool for Satan.
Look at their disgusting lives and weep for the millions who have crashed because they have followed these role models. These women are Cains killing men who women should look to as their Abels. They are opposite of the quiet subservient wife Helen Andelin writes of. They are as "fascinating" as a pile of dog crap. They are so gross it is beyond my powers of expression to express. Their ideology and lifestyles are so foul that no amount of thousand dollar dresses can make them look good. If Hillary cooked good meals to keep her husband from bloating up and if Oprah would feed her wimpy fornicator boyfriend good food, not only would their men live longer but so would these women. It is to their advantage that they serve their men. What goes around comes around. Oprahs been fat for so long because she is centered on herself instead of her man. She blames it on men who have abused her and men in general that abuse mankind with their cruel patriarchy, but the truth is that it is Oprah -- it is women -- who have become aggressive and compete with men and therefore crush mens spirit.
Will you join me in writing the rules of conduct? Lets make a written agreement to ourselves and with others that push us to live a high standard life. Lets elevate the three Rs from Reading, Riting, and Rithmatic to Rules, Responsibilities, and Reprimands.
A good place would be the Bible that speaks strongly against sin. In the Bible we can find lists of sins and absolute judgment on each one. Lets write a list of good and moral actions and a list of evil and immoral actions. Help me write this list. At the top of this list we need to write the rules that each person must live by in their home.
In the contract for the wife, it must not mince any words when it comes to the seriousness of her role as an assistant to her husband. She must overcome her fallen nature that drives her to dominate her husband. One thing that should be absolutely forbidden is for wives to argue with their husbands. They must meekly and humbly obey his final decisions. She can never yell at her husband. He, on the other hand, can yell. The wife can yell and raise her voice to her children, but they can not yell back. There is a chain of command in the family as there is in any organization. There must be obedience. Any disobedience is serious. A wife, like any employee in business or soldier in the army or athlete to his coach and referees, must treat those in command with respect. Women and children must not even show depression when a man gives guidance. It is not only the outward behavior that is important but the attitude as well. If there is disobedience in any form then punishment must be given. If a person cannot unite with a leader then that person may have to live elsewhere. A wife cannot mope around the house and upset the children because she is unhappy with her husband. She must leave the house until she can totally unite. We need a high standard in our homes -- not the low standard of this world. We must end divorce and fighting and juvenile delinquency. When there is absolute order in the home then there will be true love. Strong men in homes will lead to strong men in society which will bring world peace.
Women should not think that their free will is taken away from them by living within the boundaries a man sets for her. Very few men are martinets. Unless the man is a criminal who should be behind bars, she should stretch to unite with his decisions. As I wrote earlier, we must see that punishment should be as swift and ruthless in the home as it is outside the home in all the other organizations. My son Joe has a job at a restaurant. Last night he told me what had happened at work. It was a nightmare. Joe was scheduled to leave at the lunch hour. An employee called in saying he was not coming in because he was going on vacation for two weeks and he didn't care what the manager thought. Since he had not notified the manager and given him time to schedule this as the employee manual required employees to do, the manager fired him on the phone. He didn't agonize about it. He didn't consult anyone. He didn't call headquarters. He simply made a decision. Men are to make many decisions and they can't always make them slowly or with touchy feely meetings with others. Leaders dont always show patience and kindness and tact and forgiveness, etc.
Since they were now short handed, Joe offered to help through lunch. During an intense rush of customers, Joe told the manager he needed help at the drive through because of the massive amount of people. The manager told a girl who was assisting the cook to go help Joe. She, like so many young people today who haven't got a clue to how things work, told him that she was busy helping the cook. He told her she was needed more at the window than where she was. Then she blurted out in frustration that "everyone needs me. I'm staying here for now." The manager fired back, "Leave now." She immediately begged to stay, but even though he was in a bind, he was firm. Joe stayed the rest of the day and worked 11 hours. It was a frustrating day because they were so short handed. Customers would get angry and take it out on Joe who was at the front counter. Because of the disobedience of others, Joe's quality of life was lowered, other people suffered, and the business lost some customers. All because of arrogance to leadership. The manager had no choice but to expel these employees. Joe asked the manager later if he was going to fire the girl with the disrespectful attitude. He said he would if she did it again. Organizations cannot function if there is not absolute obedience in the chain of command.
People have the idea that families are different. They are not. Punishment must be given to wives who do not obey. Perhaps a good idea would be to have a list of some things she is to do and not do and the punishments given for doing wrong. In some cases she should be expelled from the house. Let's say a wife disobeys her husband and he feels this particular infraction of the rules warrants her to be grounded for a day at a motel, with friends or at a poor people's shelter if the family is poor. If she keeps being a problem in the family maybe he will kick her out of the house for an indefinite period of time until she convinces him that she has grown to the level spiritually that she can be a good follower. Of course, everyone would hope that this drastic measure would never have to be used, but realistically I don't see how most women will just be quiet and unite simply because men put their foot down and give a command. Do you know any woman that will stop dead in her tracks and be quiet simply because a man told her to? Do you know any wife that will relocate wherever the man wants to live without getting depressed? Do you know any woman who never criticizes her husband? I don't.
America is so sick with feminism it will probably take some drastic measures by men before women get the picture. Verbal reprimands by men are just noise women dismiss without thinking.
Another thing men must stand up to is women's tears and her tactic of using men's natural feelings of chivalry to make men be lenient with women's darts. Women act like bitches sometimes and then expect men to take their crap without a word. In fact women think they can do anything without consequences. And of course they accuse men of being the cause of women's lousy behavior. If a woman loses it and yells at her husband it is because of the husband. If a woman initiates a put-down of a man, he deserves it. If a woman screws up in any way, a man is supposed to give her a hug and laugh it off. Or he is to apologize for hurting her when it is women who start arguments and create tension. Men must become men again and expect unity and harmony at all times in their homes. Women must understand there are boundaries and rules. And they must humbly take the punishment men give. Children must take it from her and they must see her take it from her man. Children naturally follow, but women don't. The key problem in America is women. They must be put in their place. Men can't just rely on verbal reprimands. Actions must be taken. Women have to stop their incessant talking to children and use more actions. Mothers let children run all over them because they never spank or give them time outs. Women should not get spank, but they should get time outs in a motel room if they won't obey. (Years ago Norman Vincent Peale recommended men spank their wives if she is selfish in his book Sin, Sex and Self Control).
Hundreds of men can get along smoothly in a submarine that protects our country, For months on end the commanding officer will never hear on word of disobedience. Of course, there are always a few low lifes who will get drunk when they get shore leave or do something wrong. The Navy has a list of dos and don'ts and punishments to fit every situation. Sometimes the captain of the ship has to kick someone off the boat. All leaders have to resort to that at some time. Families are no different. If older children talk back they must get punished. If a child is 16 years or older then he or she should be kicked out if they are consistently rebellious. Some children under the age of 16 are juvenile delinquents and should be put in detention centers if there are no family or friends capable of helping them. Women must see that their position is like a lieutenant on a ship who treats the captain with tremendous respect at all times. Lieutenants who mope around depressed, sob in their bunks or argue and nag and disobey any order of the captain are spoken to harshly at the least and kicked out at the most. A captain cannot listen to nonsense about the tone of his voice or that he has to be patient. He can't be lectured to with quotes in the Bible about how he has to be "understanding" and from Father's words about he has to serve the "object." There is a time for patience and there is a time for punishment. Women have used up all the patience of men and now need to overcome their fallen nature and restore their femininity.
Another tactic of women is their argument that what men ask is "impossible." Men basically do not ask for the impossible. God doesn't put people in situations they can't handle. If a woman has a husband then she has the ability to unite. She can't demand leniency and silly arguments that the man must take into account all the good she has done. Just because someone does right for a long time and then messes up does not mean that they now should not be spoken to harshly. Women can't fall back on the argument that they are different than men and more gentle and have to be handled with kid gloves. They are not so weak that they can break a man's heart and spirit with their bad attitude and lectures. Women must start to take responsibility for the devastation they have caused and men must have the guts to not be intimidated with their cries for mercy or their accusations that men ask for perfection. Men don't ask for perfection. They ask for decent behavior just as they ask for it everywhere else in their life. If the family is to become the school of love then it must become the school of tough love also.