And there are few real mothers, too. Edith Schaeffer is one who built a world wide ministry from her home. In her books she teaches women to treasure the career in the home to build families as an "oasis" as she did with her home. In one place in her book What is a Family? she tries to explain her point by saying everyone is concerned with the environment. There are laws in nature, and when man disrupts them all hell can break loose. She gives examples of how devastating things became when people did simple things like introduce an animal or a plant to an area and change its whole ecostructure. She goes on to detail how devastating it is when women leave the home or how the environment blossoms when women do the right things in the home. She ends that section by saying, "A living, growing, changing real family is as thoroughly an ecological demonstration of what human beings thrive in as any 'experimental farm.' It is as noble a career as can be entered in the ecological field! Profession? 'Housewife.' No! 'Ecologist' -- in the most important area of conservation -- the family."
Man of Steel and Velvet
Aubrey Andelin writes in Man of Steel and Velvet: "Women are misled if they feel they will best achieve their duty to mankind by becoming a figure of renown in politics, science, and industry. Although they're capable enough, they can render no service of greater consequence than to establish an ideal home. Theirs is the prime opportunity to prevent and correct the great social evils in the place most of them start. There would be an absolute minimum of social problems if our homes were in order. Too much emphasis can't be given in reminding our girls and women of their vital role in the well-being of society. The shaping of the lives of children is of such magnitude and consequence as to be incomprehensible. These values are realized not only here but extend into eternity. "
"If men can 't solve problems of government and industry, if we must lean on women for these responsibilities, then we have failed as men. Half the population is male. There are plenty of men to produce the material necessities, but not enough women to be good mothers. "
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world
Helen Andelin writes in her marriage manual for women, Fascinating Womanhood: "To be a successful mother is greater than to be a successful opera singer, writer, or artist. One is eternal greatness and the other a short-term honor. One day my young son said to me, 'Mother, boys are more important than girls, aren't they, for they can become presidents and generals and famous people.' I replied, 'But it is mothers who make presidents and generals and famous people. The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.'"
"Every woman can make a worthy contribution to society through her children, but not every man can through his work. Some jobs are unimportant or even destructive. If women feel they must serve their country, the best way is in the home, making a success of family life. Calvin Coolidge, former U.S. president said, 'Look well to the hearthstone. Therein lies all hope for America. ' "
"The work in the home is a different kind of glory than career women enjoy. A great mother lives in obscurity, and the perfect wife is even less known. Her reward is a quiet, unacclaimed honor. Her glory is the esteem of her husband, the happiness of her children, and her overall success in the home."
I want to make it clear that I understand some women have to work. What I've written is in no way meant to be judgmental to them. My heart goes out to them. But even to them, I say focus, not on your career, but get a Godly man or men to take care of you. There are millions of single mothers and married women who have husbands who for a variety of reasons can 't work or won 't be the sole provider. They must focus their energy on finding a community to live in that has men who will provide for her. In chapter seven I explain how these communities should be organized. Women should not focus on careers or government welfare, but on building a God-centered community that has men who will provide, protect and lead all the women in the community. Kids need to have close contact with good role models of true men who live by the values taught in this book. Everyone needs a community, especially women who are vulnerable. It 's not a perfect world and there will be cases of some men and women committing adultery and abusing others, but it would be a minor problem if men and women did as I write and not associate alone with each other. The situation now in America is so bad that it is hard to express in words how tragic it is. Everyone needs to fundamentally change their view and stretch to not only get along with a mate but with others under one roof.
Until then, millions of women need to earn money and I think the best option is for women to build a home-based business if they can. Mary Pride says that a married woman might be able to incorporate a home-based business into a teaching exercise for children to learn about business.
Mrs. Pride is disgusted that Christians don't help women in need and then send them out to work: "feminism has infected even staunch conservatives. One of the most orthodox and caring Christian women I know, upon hearing that a friend of mine had been divorced by her husband, suggested that I baby-sit the friend's baby so she could get a job. No suggestion here of charity, of helping a mother stay home. Why should the church help her? It's the widow's or divorcee's job to pay her own way! Thus withers and dies Christian charity .... Feminism's ultimate goal is to have all wives work at all jobs."
Wife helping a husband
One of my most vivid memories is a show I saw when I was a boy in the 1950s. Loretta Young played a role of a wealthy woman. I don't remember every detail, but I remember the essence of this short little film. I wish it were on video to see. It's amazing to rent videos and watch some of the black and white Ozzie and Harriet shows that I saw as a boy. Loretta Young is traveling in a fancy convertible with her husband. She is wearing an expensive fashionable dress. Her hair is immaculate. She has make-up and looks fabulous. For some reason the man stops at a plain farm house because he needs some kind of help with the car. He goes off with the farmer to get a part or something.
Miss Young sits down next to the farmer's wife who is on the ground surrounded by mounds of tomatoes or something. She is in overalls, exhausted and in a bad mood. They start talking and Miss Young discovers that all is not well in their marriage, and they are struggling financially. The young woman is doing some extra work with these vegetables to sell and earn some money. Loretta Young mentors the young wife explaining that it is more productive to be feminine and inspire the husband, as she has done, than work like a man.
When the farmer comes back with the well-dressed husband, he enters the kitchen where he finds his wife in a dress and looking fresh and happy. He is shocked. Then he's nervous. What about the work outside? She says it is all right. She just knows the work will get done. And then she shows him the new curtains she put on the kitchen window. Miss Young is sitting regally at the kitchen table smiling from ear to ear watching this scene. Our young farmer gets nervous again and asks where she got the money for the new curtains. She is bright and happy and says she sewed them out of some extra material she had. Her husband is beginning to change. He looks around the kitchen and says how nice it is. He doesn't know what's happening to him, but Loretta Young and her husband know. After their successful guests leave, the young man, almost with tears in his eyes, holds his wife and starts to tell her he has just realized he doesn't want her to earn any more extra money but spend time continuing fixing up the house because he feels confident now to do what he has dreamed of doing but never felt motivated till now. He is going to invite some men friends over to his nice warm house to discuss his plans. It is a beautiful scene. We are in the position of God seeing how a man has come alive again and a love in a marriage rekindled in a simple little home because someone told them the truth.
Helen Andelin did this for me when I happened to pick up my wife's copy curious about what she was reading. I became alive again. I called this great lady to say thanks. Mrs. Andelin was as wonderful on the phone when I called her as she is in her book.
Nancy Hanna reviewed Fascinating Womanhood in a Blessing Quarterly magazine. She praises the book saying it "is the self-help book for a happy marriage and happy homemaking 'par excellence.'" I couldn't agree more. It is the best. She goes on to say, "It is the first book I've ever come across which is about what it is to be a woman and to be feminine. Chapter after chapter clearly explain what womanhood is all about. I, for one, found it very helpful to have things spelled out. In America today there is a lot of confusion about what a woman should be, as well as the rejection of traditional feminine roles. When I read this book ten years ago it came like a revelation; I still reread it once a year or so to refresh myself in its uncommon ideas." This is great. Don't you want to read it after hearing this from an elder sister? The Andelins have been "like a revelation" to me too.
She says that "in the stampede to enter man's world, I think many modern women have lost sight of the greatness and joy that lie in the vocations unique to woman: of wife, mother and homemaker." She says role models for women are "usually career women who are only secondarily wives and mothers."
Nancy then talks about Golda Meir, "who became head of the modern state of Israel, said that nothing in her career ever compared to her experience of having children." Then she goes on about how wonderful being a mother is. I could write several pages now on Golda Meir and go into her life. You can read her autobiography and biographies as well as me. She was a workaholic career woman. She got a divorce, had a few children and felt extreme guilt over not being there for them. It is painful to read her. Maybe Golda was necessary as a political leader, but she is definitely not a good role model. 99.99% of women are not to live as she did. Let 's look at women like her as strange freaks of nature.
She writes that UC sisters often develop "masculine qualities" before marriage and become "competent, efficient, fearless and independent .... the strongest women" anywhere. She warns sisters to not be digested by our culture that rejects old fashioned roles for men and women: "A great deal of unhappiness in American life today comes from the rejection of masculine and feminine roles, and even Unificationists are susceptible to these cultural influences. That's where the value of a book like this comes in."
She accepts the Andelin 's teaching of patriarchy saying, "I'm grateful that my husband always insisted on being the leader and didn't let me dominate him."
Peter Marshall was one of America's most famous ministers and former chaplain of the U.S. Senate. There is even a movie on his life. The following is an excerpt from a sermon called:
"The Keepers of the Springs"
Once upon a time, a certain town grew up at the foot
of a mountain range. It was sheltered in the lee of the
protecting heights, so that the wind that shuddered at the
doors and flung handfuls of sleet against the window panes
was a wind whose fury was spent.
High up in the hills, a strange and quiet forest dweller took it upon himself to be the Keeper of the Springs.
He patrolled the hills and wherever he found a spring, he
cleaned its brown pool of silt and fallen leaves, of mud and
and took away from the spring all foreign matter, so that
the water which bubbled up through the sand ran down clean
and cold and pure.
It leaped sparkling over rocks and dropped joyously in
cascades until, swollen by other streams, it became a river of
life to the busy town.
Millwheels were whirled by its rush.
Gardens were refreshed by its waters.
Fountains threw it like diamonds into the air.
Swans sailed on its limpid surface
and children laughed as they played on its banks in the
But the City Council was a group of hardheaded,
business men. They scanned the civic budget and found in it
the salary of a Keeper of the Springs.
Said the Keeper of the Purse: "Why should we pay this
ranger? We never see him; he is not necessary to our
town's work life. If we build a reservoir just above the town,
we can dispense with his services and save his salary."
Therefore, the City Council voted to dispense with the
necessary cost of a Keeper of the Springs, and to build a
So the Keeper of the Springs no longer visited the brown
but watched from the heights while they built the reservoir.
When it was finished, it soon filled up with water, to be
but the water did not seem to be the same.
It did not seem to be as clean, and a green scum soon befouled
its stagnant surface.
There were constant troubles with the delicate machinery
of the mills, for it was often clogged with slime, and the
swans found another home above the town.
At last, an epidemic raged, and the clammy, yellow fingers
sickness reached into every home in every street and lane.
The City Council met again. Sorrowfully, it faced the city's
plight, and frankly it acknowledged the
mistake of the dis-missal of the Keeper of the Springs.
They sought him out in his hermit hut high in the hills,
begged him to return to his former joyous labor.
Gladly he agreed, and began once more to make his rounds.
It was not long until pure water came lilting down under
tunnels of ferns and mosses and to sparkle in the cleansed
Millwheels turned again as of old.
Sickness waned and convalescent children playing in the sun laughed again
because the swans had come back.
Do not think me fanciful
or too extravagant in my language
when I say that I think women, and particularly of our
mothers, as Keepers of the Springs. The phrase, while poetic,
is true and descriptive.
We feel its warmth...
its softening influence ...
and however forgetful we have been ...
however much we have taken for granted life's precious
gifts we are conscious of wistful memories that surge out of
the past --
poignant fragrances of love.
Nothing that has been said
nothing that could be said
or that ever will be said,
would be eloquent enough, expressive enough, or adequate to
make articulate that peculiar emotion we feel to our mothers.
So I shall make my tribute a plea for Keepers of the Springs,
who will be faithful to their tasks.
There never has been a time when there was a greater
for Keepers of the Springs,
or when there were more polluted springs to be cleansed.
If the home fails, the country is doomed. The breakdown of home life and influence will mark the breakdown of the nation.
If the Keepers of the Springs desert their posts or are un-faithful to their responsibilities the future outlook of this country is black indeed.
This generation needs Keepers of the Springs who will be
enough to cleanse the springs that have been polluted.
It's not an easy task -- nor is it a popular one, but it must
done for the sake of the children, and the young women of
today must do it.