A Doll 's House
The philosophy that degrades mothers who stay at home to care for their children is feminism. Their favorite play is Ibsen's "A Doll's House" in which the main character, Nora, leaves her family to find fulfillment. True Mother says that it is not in Korean women's "blood" to leave the home: "We must become wives whom our husbands can trust as they trust God. A wife's fidelity is our distinctive virtue. Korean women are descendants of Choon Hyang. We have blood that will never allow us to become descendants of Nora in A Doll's House by Ibsen, who left home."
It is interesting that Jane Fonda played Nora in the Hollywood movie. She was a famous feminist blasting marriage and capitalism. She went through the usual divorces and then met the billionaire Ted Turner a few years ago. One article said, "She was a passionate feminist; and he was, as he announced on one of their first dates, 'a male chauvinist pig' .... In previous relationships, Jane had obviously been the one in charge, picking up the tab, and so on. But here, for the first time, she was being treated in the old-fashioned style, like a lady. And she really seemed to like it." She shocked the feminist world by marrying him and dropping her career. She said on a nationally televised interview that Ted told her to give up her career, and she did. She said, "careers ... are very difficult on marriages" and said, "I can't imagine any movie that I ever made or could make in the future that would be worth giving up the three months of being with Ted." Women's magazines called her a "traitor." A family friend says, "She's going at it as a career, a commitment of a lifetime. She's making an incredible effort to make all this work. She doesn't want it to fail." When they were dating, Ted took Jane with him when he got an honorary degree. In his speech, "Turner offered surprisingly candid assessment of his own life, which seemed to be addressed to one member of the audience in particular: 'Something I've learned -- I'm sharing my deepest experiences with you -- is when you get married, really get some books and get some counseling, because schools don't teach you about marriage." He went on to tell of how his marriages didn't work, and they would have if he had studied marriage. Sadly, their marriage, at this writing, is over. I, of course, am encouraging the Andelin's as the best authors out there. I hope brothers buy Aubrey Andelin's Man of Steel and Velvet. Every woman needs Helen Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood to understand the power of old-fashioned truths. And both men and women should study Helen's book on parenting, All About Raising Children.
Father has always provided for mother. She has never gone out to support her family. Because of their special position she had to go with him sometimes so the members could see both of them. We are their children also. I remember the state leader's meetings in the 70's. Mother never said a word. After the singing and a prayer Father would stand before us and start speaking. Mother would quietly slip away. Father would speak for long hours, and we never saw mother again, but it was enough to just see her briefly. The UC should not use Mother's traveling with Father as a green light to have dangerous bar runs and careers because they think Mother has a "career." Mother's career is her husband. She is not earning money, and the fact that she travels so much with Father is one of the 1% exceptions, not what 99% of women are to do.
Friedan attacks stay-at-home mothers
The Godmother of modern feminism, Betty Friedan says in The Feminine Mystique that was a best-seller in the 1960's: "As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night -- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question -- 'Is this all?'" Ever since Friedan's book women have to apologize for being housewives because the vast majority of women have bought this ideology of hatred for the homemaker.
Friedan maligns, as she says, "occupation: Housewife." She presents a "dreary" picture of talents not being fulfilled, dreams not pursued ... no fulfilling sex ... feeling "tired ... desperate ... incomplete ... trapped ... suffering from anxiety and, finally, depression ... and new, unnamed neuroses..." etc. etc. The cure for this nightmare, she writes, is to get a job: "The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person is" to get a job. "But a job, any job, is not the answer ...." Women must get jobs that are "creative" and "equal to their actual capacity." Jobs that will "let themselves develop the lifetime interests and goals which require serious education and training ... a job that she can take seriously as part of a life plan, work in which she can grow as part of society."
Friedan says "community work" is just "busywork" and "is not satisfying to mature women, nor does it help the immature to grow." She says "being a den mother, or serving on a PTA Committee or organizing a covered-dish supper ... is simply not enough ... for a woman of intelligence and ability." In fact "community activities" will "deteriorate" her "intelligence." She says there is a "growing boredom of American women with volunteer work" and now women have a "preference for paid jobs." The only real work for women is a paid career, "Women, as well as men, can only find their identity in work that uses their full capabilities. A woman cannot find her identity in others -- her husband, her children. She cannot find it in the dull routine of housework .... even if a woman does not have to work to eat, she can find identity only in work that is of real value to societ-- work for which our society pays."
Assault on the Sexes
Andrea Fordham wrote an excellent book called The Assault on the Sexes. She goes into the many arguments of feminism such as the naive view that there are two kinds of feminists -- radical and moderate, man haters and those who don't, etc. She explains you can't be a little bit pregnant. There is no good to feminism. There is no good to a little bit of adultery or one cigarette. Any attempt to destroy patriarchy in the home and in society is Satanic. Period. So many people, even conservatives like Mona Charen, think there is a difference between moderate and radical feminists and that some good came from feminism. Andrea Fordham explains (as Mary Pride did earlier) that you can 't be a little bit pregnant: "If you read the popular press, you get the impression that feminists are merely crusaders after simple justice, defenders of all that is just and good .... Most people are for equal pay and equal opportunity. But a feminist, it seems, is something else. Whether she admits it or prefers to hide the fact, a feminist is someone who is encouraging a restructuring of society through obliteration of the sex roles. And in the end, perhaps the truth is just that you can 't be a little bit feminist any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. All who work to deny and defeat the value of sex roles, however faint or fierce their contribution, are supporting the same revolutionary scheme. "
The following is a snippet from Mrs. Fordham to give you a flavor of her book. I hope you go to the library and read it. If they don't have it, order it through interlibrary loan. She writes, "In The Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan began the ludicrous feminist tradition of pretending that the world is loaded with fulfilling, entertaining jobs. She wrote: 'The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive. There is no way for these women to break out of their comfortable concentration camps except by finally putting forth an effort -- that human effort which reaches beyond biology, beyond the narrow walls of home, to help shape the future....' "
"Beyond the routine destructiveness of calling peoples' occupations 'concentration camps ' and 'ghettos, ' this kind of twaddle -- which is all too characteristic of the feminist movement -- is completely out of touch with reality. It's exactly the 'dull routine ' of housework and office work and of most work that is unfortunately essential to keep society running. (There are, of course, drawbacks to every job.) The idea that the libbers can give all of us the fulfillment and joy that they obviously have not been able to obtain for themselves is a joke. And when you consider the probable consequences of choices made by women whom the feminists have influenced that tend to weaken the institutions of marriage, home and family, it's a grim joke indeed."
Chesterton criticizes feminists who glorify the workplace over the home. A few feminists are excited with their glamorous jobs such as congresswomen and college professors. But for most women and men the workplace is more repetitive and offers less chance for growth than the woman at home. He writes: "Of the two sexes the woman is in the more powerful position. For the average woman is at the head of something with which she can do as she likes the average man has to obey orders and do nothing else. He has to put one dull brick on another dull brick, and do nothing else;; he has to add one dull figure to another dull figure, and do nothing else. The woman's world is a small one, perhaps, but she can alter it. The woman can tell the tradesman with whom she deals some realistic things about himself. The clerk who does this to the manager generally gets the sack .... Above all the woman does work which is in some small degree creative and individual. She can put the flowers or the furniture in fancy arrangements of her own. I fear the bricklayer cannot put the bricks in fancy arrangements of his own, without disaster to himself and others. If the woman is only putting a patch into a carpet, she can choose the thing with regard to colour .... A woman cooking may not always cook artistically, still she can cook artistically. She can introduce a personal and imperceptible alteration into the composition of a soup. The clerk is not encouraged to introduce a personal and imperceptible alteration into the figures in a ledger
Mary Pride explains that there are no good aspects to feminism. She says, "What happens when women throw out what the Bible says about women's sphere because it 'merely reflects ancient patriarchal culture,' and then launch into a lifestyle that reflects our culture?...Christians have accepted feminist' 'moderate' demands for ... careers while rejecting the 'radical' side of feminism -- meaning lesbianism... What most do not see is that one demand leads to the other. Feminism is a totally self-consistent system aimed at rejecting God's role for women. Those who adopt any part of its lifestyle can't help picking up its philosophy. And those who pick up its philosophy are buying themselves a one-way ticket to social anarchy." She explains how Christian churches stopped teaching that women are to be in the home: "Feminists had a plan for women; Christians didn't .... At every turn Christian women found their biological, economic, and social roles were considered worthless .... Today we are reaping the fruits. Role obliteration is the coming thing in evangelical, and even fundamentalist, circles. If women can't be women, by golly they will be men! All because two or more generations have grown up and married without ever hearing that the Bible teaches a distinct role for women which is different from that of a man and just as important. "
"Homeworking is the biblical lifestyle for Christian wives. Homeworking is not just staying home either (that was the mistake of the fifties). We are not called by God to stay home, or to sit at home, but to work at home! Homeworking is the exact opposite of the modern careerist/institutional/Socialist movement. It is a way to take back control of education, health care, agriculture, social welfare, business, housing, morality, and evangelism from the faceless institutions to which we have surrendered them. More importantly, homeworking is the path of obedience to God."
Woman 's Role: Titus 2:3-5
Mrs. Pride divides her book, The Way Home, into chapters that explore each of the womanly roles listed in Titus 2:3-5: "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home [literally, home-working], to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." She says women are "unwilling to face up to" the responsibility to do these things. "Titus 2:3-5 is the most important text in the Bible on married women's roles, capsulizing a young wife's marital, sexual, biological, economic, authority, and ministering roles. Yet women's books routinely ignore, mutilate, or even mock this passage. There appears to be a great desire to accommodate Christianity to our culture, and a corresponding willingness to dismiss the Bible's teaching as a remnant of outdated, male-dominated culture."
Mrs. Pride writes, "For us wives, it boils down to this: are we willing to obey God, to love our husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to work at home (not the office), to be kind, and to be subject to our husbands, so that no one will blaspheme the Word of God?... Homeworking will not automatically solve every problem. But it will get us on the right track. 'The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down ' (Prov. 14:1). " Women have helped tear down the home; women can rebuild it. We have seen enough torn-down houses: broken marriages, rebellious children, barren churches. Now it is time to be wise. It's time for homeworking. It's time to see what the true God can do."
Years ago more women lived in extended families that lent itself more easily to do Titus 2, but Satan has worked hard to end that and stick women in isolated little homes without any relatives or friends nearby. Without this protection the suburban housewife was doomed. Betty Friedan lived in the 1950's nuclear family of man as breadwinner, wife as homemaker and children at public school. A popular show on everyone's black and white TV was Father Knows Best which was America's ideal of parents who never yell and a boy and girl who have minor problems to solve. It seems like feminists have written exactly one million books saying how awful those little islands of families were. Stephanie Coontz is one of most popular now. Insight magazine pitted her against David Popenoe, a distinguished sociologist who disagrees with her saying the nuclear family is better than anything she can come up with. I can't go into all the arguments here. It has not been fun for me to read those one million books by feminists who simply cannot think straight.
Dr. Robert Mendelsohn in Confessions of a Medical Heretic writes: "Since few American families live with or close to other relatives, the mother is physically removed from the solace and support her mother or grandmother could provide." He says this is a "recipe for making a mother at least neurotic and at worse crazy." This is one of the reasons we read tragic stories of mothers abusing children. He says, "Since there's no one to help her in the home, the woman tries to save herself by escaping from the home. In many cases, the strain on the husband and the wife is so great when they have only each other to look to as both the cause and the solution of their problems, that the marriage ends in divorce. Or, less drastically, the woman wastes no time finding a 'fulfilling' job outside the home. Either way, the child is shunted off to a day-care center."
No glamorous jobs
In one of James Dobson's books on relationships he prints a letter that a woman, Mary Fay Bourgoin, had sent to the Washington Post. Here is a small part of this letter that represents all those millions of women who have bought the satanic ideology of feminism. She says she read Friedan's book in 1964 when she was in college, "It was a page turner. The happy housewife heroine was a myth." So she combined career with having children and now years later she says, "These days it seems that my home, Washington D.C., is a city of weary women, or, more accurately, exhausted working mothers. For several months, I have been among those who rise at dawn to shower, blow dry their hair, pack lunches, do a load of wash, plug in the crock pot, and glance at the morning paper to make sure the world is not ending before 9 a.m. "
"Provided there is no last-minute scramble for missing shoes, homework, or show-and-tell items, my three daughters are at school by 8:40 and I am on my way to 'the real world.' "
"My job is interesting, working on Capitol Hill as a journalist, investigating the legislative process, interviewing members of Congress -- all described in my alumnae magazine as 'glamorous.' But most of the time I feel that I have one foot on a banana peel and the other on ice. "
"Balancing marriage, motherhood, and career has become the classic women's problem of the 1980s. For those who can pull it all together, life is a first-class act. But judging from my own experience and from talking with other women, life is often a constant round of heartburn, ulcers, and anxiety attacks."
A famous actress, Joanne Woodward, the wife of superstar actor Paul Newman, said women can't have it all and be supermoms: "You just can't leave a child to a housekeeper or the nanny, as a lot of women do. Otherwise you shouldn't have children. I do not believe, being a prime example of one, in being a working mother. If you're going to work, work. If you're going to be a mother, that is an exciting career, if you feel equipped to do it. If not, you shouldn't have children."
"If I had it to do all over again, I would make a decision one way or the other. My career has suffered because of the children and my children have suffered because of my career. And that's not fair. I've been torn and haven't been able to function fully in either arena. I don't know one person who does both successfully, and I know a lot of working mothers."
Help for women leaving the workplace
Many women are going back home. In Staying Home: From Full-Time Professional to Full-Time Parent the authors list some organizations and tells a bit about each one. Some of these mother 's support organizations are FEMALE (Formerly Employed Mothers at the Leading Edge), La Leche League, MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) Club, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International, and Mothers at Home, Inc.
Larry Burkett has a book Women Leaving the Workplace. He gives pointers on how to make the transition smoothly. Here is an example of the good advice he gives women: "Establish a schedule for a typical day as a full-time mom .... It may sound corny to say that a stay-at-home mom should use a daily planning calendar, but it 's a good idea. Businesses invest millions of dollars in individual time-management aids because they have been proven to work. Your time at home is also valuable. "
If you do nothing else, I encourage you to make a daily priority list of things that you want to accomplish. Too much regimen can be legalistic, but too little can lead to slothfulness. As the proverb warns: 'A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest -- and your poverty will come in like a vagabond ' (Proverbs 6:10-11). "
Burkett tells a story of a young mother who experienced blessings when she left work. My wife and I have had the same unexpected blessing when she quit and stayed home. God truly does work in mysterious and amazing ways when you live according to His laws. The woman writes, "I found myself crying each morning on my way to work as I left my sleeping babies, knowing that I wouldn 't even touch them that day until I arrived home at 6 p.m. (or later). How well I remember standing at my stove, still in my heels and suit, balancing a clutching baby on each hip, wondering what to prepare for dinner, trying to give my husband the attention he needed, and not having a clue about what occurred in my little girls ' minds and hearts without their Mama in their lives that day. "
"But the Lord knew all of this, and it was He who opened my eyes. I resigned from my position with the airlines, and in our case, the loss of my $30,000 salary literally cut our income in half. However, when we truly needed something, I prayed, and the Lord always answered. "
"On one occasion when I had prayed for children 's clothing, I received so much that when my husband arrived home from work, he literally could not walk through the living room for all the stacks and boxes of girl 's clothes. (One friend had cleaned out a yard sale of our girls ' sizes and shipped the clothing in huge boxes; other friends 'just happened ' to be cleaning out closets and remembered our children.) "
"My husband just looked at me and calmly asked, 'You 've been praying again, haven 't you? ' This incident is only a small illustration of countless perfectly answered prayers, each one its own beautiful story, every one resulting in a closer knowledge of Him who loves us so. "
Burkett had input from thousands of women nationwide for his book. One woman wrote these poignant words: "I went to college for 6 years to get a B.A. in Elementary Education and a M.A. in Education with the Acoustically Handicapped. I worked in the public school system and loved teaching in one of the highest paying counties for teachers in the United States. "
"My husband made less than I did with no benefits. So our decision to live on one income was based on conviction. Are there any moral principles or biblical guidelines for us to follow in the decision to work as a mother of small children or stay home with them and nurture them myself? "
"Our conviction is based on Titus 2:4-5 (NAS). 'That they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored. ' "
"God has given me a responsibility as a mother under my husband 's direction and leading to train up my children in His way by teaching them from the home. This means I must be home with my children to impart disciplines to them. "
"I love being home although I have struggled at times, especially on first leaving the workplace, with [self] worth in vacuuming and doing dishes. My criteria of a worthwhile job was the pay. To be home with no income left me feeling worthless at times. I have since learned what being a homeworker entails. It is not just cleaning and cooking but building an environment that is hospitable for outsiders, warm for my husband, and enjoyable yet teachable for my children. "
"Does God care if I work outside the home or home with my children to nurture, train and discipline them? Yes He does! "
Friedan was a housewife with children when she wrote her garbage. She divorced her husband and started a feminist organization to spread the good news. Women had steadily been leaving the home since 1920 and as they did the divorce rate climbed proportionately. The same is true for statistics of crime and illegitimacy. We have declined in every area of life since women left the home. A distinguished economist at Columbia University, Eli Ginzberg, called women leaving home "the single most outstanding phenomenon of this century." He says it has had a greater impact than the rise of communism. What he doesn't know is that communism's core value is to get women out of the home.
Feminists argue that we are in a period of great transition from the old fashioned ways to a brave new world. In fact, they say, in so many ways, things are better because women have changed the competitive war-like atmosphere men have created to one of harmonious cooperation. The workplace is so much more peaceful now. The workplace was out of balance until women came. In one survey of male CEOs in Fortune 500 companies, they said "Women bring a positive, humanizing quality to the corporate environment." They have been digested by feminism. All male leaders must spout this nonsense to keep from going to court.
To mix or not to mix
The managing editor of a prominent newwpaper said that women have supreme verbal skills and are able to bring love to what used to be a den of fighting: "In the newsroom where it is very tense, there is a lot of pressure and everyone is operating at an optimum because the work you do is visible on a huge public scale every day, a woman's inclination to talk things through rather than fight things through, is often helpful. In our business there is now more of an appreciation for balance in the newsroom." She says it is good to "mix" women and men together in the workplace, "people really see it as an advantage now to have a mix of men and women." Father and Tocqueville use that very work "mix" as well. Father says it's like mixing a match and gasoline. We'll look at Tocqueville's use of the word "mix" a little later. She spouts the same old tiresome rhetoric of all feminists whose party line is that women are creating such a loving atmosphere in the workplace. According to one survey taken, there is loving going on, but not the high sounding kind she talks of: "A survey of 444 readers of Men's Health magazine in fall 1987 showed even more surprising statistics: Over 50 percent of those surveyed had been sexually propositioned by someone at work; and another 18 percent had sex in their place of work; and another 18 percent had sex with a coworker during work hours!"
When women work they usually see successful men. This is dangerous. The Andelin 's write: "Still another harm to consider is the woman 's relationship to her employer, especially if he is a man. The wife is accustomed to looking at her husband as the director of her activities. When she finds herself taking orders from another man, it is an unnatural situation for her. She owes him a certain obedience as her employer, and in countless hours of close contact she may find herself physically attracted to him. Seeing him at his best and perhaps as a more dynamic and effective leader than her husband, she makes comparisons unfavorable to her husband whose faults and failings she knows all too well. " A woman may have a good man as her boss and this is dangerous. She may have an archangel type of man and that is dangerous. The reverse is also true. A man may work for a good woman and compare his wife unfavorably, or he may have an Eve type boss and struggle with that.
Husbands should not let their wives be bossed around by other men. Andelin writes: "She cannot serve two masters. Her neglect of home life results in lack of love, attention, and development of the children as well as her failure to serve as the understanding wife. "
Women working has caused so much divorce. There are so many examples of where even religious women can 't hold a marriage when they have a career. Two that come to mind are Sheila Walsh and Marie Osmond. Sheila was a workaholic as a singer by night and sitting next to Pat Robertson on the 700 Club by day. She wrote a book after her divorce. Her long hours of work were incredible. Instead of having children she got caught up in work. Marie Osmond is part of the Osmond family that used to be the poster family for the Mormon church. For years the church showed a picture of their family in their ad in the Reader 's Digest, the most circulated magazine in the world. Then Marie got a divorce and that ended that. She was a workaholic. One sister wrote to me saying this is not the time for women to stay home because this is a hurting world and needs the nurturing love of women. I agree as long as women try to heal this world through volunteer actions and are supported solely by their husbands. Women should not earn money from business or the church. After their families are taken care of and they have free time then it is fine to spend time in volunteer service. Even then Father says those activities would come after she has successfully witnessed one person a month to accept the Divine Principle or at least got someone to go to the blessing.
Most people in America believe in the feminist ideology that it is wonderful mankind has advanced and now mixes men and women. The party line now says everything is so much better because women can now fulfill their potential and society will be improved. Nobel laureate Paul Samuelson, professor of economics at M.I.T. says, "To the degree that women are getting an opportunity that they didn't have in the past, the economy is tapping an important and previously wasted resource." The Guinness book of records has writer Marilyn vos Savant as having the world's highest IQ. She calls herself an "armchair feminist". She gives advice to millions of people in newspapers and books. Some one wrote asking if she thought working women were taking away jobs from some men who are trying to be breadwinners. She responded, "In essence, then, you seem to think that perhaps women are gratuitously taking jobs that men could have to support women and children. If the situation were changed, presumably husbands would make money (with a bit of help from their wives), and wives would make babies (with a bit of help from their husbands). And that would perpetuate the system that totally blocked the entire female sex from historical prominence in the areas of politics, science, technology, literature, and the arts. The loss of half the contribution of humankind is a truly awesome price to pay."
She says more but there has to be a limit to this book. The arguments are endless. These two smart people, Samuelson and vos Savant have high IQS but low wisdom. I used to believe as they do. I used to think that mothers made no "contribution" to "humankind" and that they were mindless creatures who sat around all day eating chocolate, watching soap operas and getting fat. Housewives are viewed as being parasites and "wasted resources" instead of being out in the rat race having one of those "fulfilling " careers. Then I studied the arguments of those who disagree. Too many women have been digested by this feminist culture. Shakespeare said, "The seeming truth / Which cunning times put on / To entrap the wisest."