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 PROVIDE

There have been many manuals of advice written on men/women relationships. The following is an illustration from a manual of advice for housewives published in England in 1913. A wife stands in the warm glow of light as she greets her returning breadwinner.

One book explains the old-fashioned family this way: "Every family is a little state, an empire within itself, bound by he most endearing emotions, and governed by its patriarchal head, with whose prerogative no power on earth has a right to interfere. ' To these words written by the American clergyman Herman Humphrey in 1840, the vast majority of his prosperous middle-class readers in both the United States and Europe no doubt nodded in silent assent, for no group in history, before or since, has so clearly defined and so strenuously dedicated itself to the ideals of family life. The cult of home-- the family 's private universe, and a place, as Humphrey implied, wholly separate from the outside world of work -- has become almost a religious institution. 'A private shelter to cover two hearts dearer to each other than all in the world; high walls to exclude the profane eyes of every human being; seclusion enough for the children to feel that mother is a holy and peculiar name -- this is home, ' wrote a contributor to a ladies magazine in 1856. 'This is the true nature of home, ' echoed the English writer and art critic John Ruskin in 1865: 'It is the place of Peace; the shelter, not only from all injury, but from all terror, doubt, and division. "

Man provides, woman supports

Father is restoring this kind of home. His goal is for men and women to divide their labor. He wants the wife to help her husband by doing her duty in the home. She is her husband 's greatest supporter. Father says the husband's role is public and the wife's role is private, "When you blessed couples start a family, the husband should lead a public life (life of service) and the wife should be in charge of the family life (the domestic life). Will you be a representative and exemplary family?" Father says men are to go out in the world and provide for their families while the wife is to create a loving home. He lives this lifestyle. He praises Mother for helping him prepare to go to work, "When Father, verging on seventy years old, wants to go out to the ocean, Mother prepares all his equipment with her whole heart. She even prepares the supplies needed in case he stays out overnight and prays for the accomplishment of Father's will. What a beautiful helper and supporter she is!"

Home is a refuge

Father explains how women should create a sacred refuge where her husband can refresh himself when he comes home from a long days work. I've read many books on relationships, but Father is the most poetic and romantic: "A wife shouldn't think that she fulfills her responsibility by just preparing a meal when her husband comes home from work. The most important thing is to share a time of confidential talk of love at the dinner table. If she comforts her husband's hard work of the day with the whispering sound that she had in their first meeting, his fatigue will fade away and their conjugal love will become deeper." He once said a woman should be a "pool of love" with no rocks. Father speaks like this constantly. He is for the traditional family. On October 3, 1995 he said, "The mother takes care of the baby all day long while her husband is working. In the evening when the husband returns home, he will run to the baby and give it a hug and kiss."

Next to Father, the best book on the subject of providing is by Aubrey Andelin. He distills the wisdom of centuries into clear language on why and how men should handle this crucial role. He says, "the man is the divinely appointed provider for the family. Any failure on his part to do so is a serious neglect of duty. In the New Testament the Apostle Paul warned, in I Tim. 5:8, 'if anyone does not provide for his family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." Mary Pride says, "My experience is that any employed husband can provide for his family without sending the wife out to work, as long as they are willing to live within his means. Biblically, he should take two jobs before looking to you for support."

Workaholicism is good

Gilder explains that men must be workaholics in the marketplace to succeed, "Just as the female role cannot be shared or relinquished, the male role also remains vital to social survival .... On forty-hour weeks, most men cannot even support a family of four. They must train at night and on weekends; they must save as they can for future ventures of entrepreneurship; they must often perform more than one job. They must make time as best they can to see and guide their children. They must shun the consolations of alcohol and leisure, sexual indulgence and flight. They must live for the perennial demands of the provider role." He must perform a "lifetime of hard labor .... All the major accomplishments of civilization spring from the obsessions of men whom the sociologists would now disdain as 'workaholics. '" Men, he says, "must give their lives to unrelenting effort, day in and day out, focused on goals in the distant future. They must struggle against scarcity, entropy, and natural disaster. They must overcome the sabotage of socialists who would steal and redistribute their product. They must resist disease and temptation. All too often they must die without achieving their ends. But their sacrifices bring others closer to the goal. "

 

"Nothing that has been written in the annals of feminism gives the slightest indication that this is a role that women want or are prepared to perform. The feminists demand liberation. The male role means bondage to the demands of the workplace and the needs of the family. Most of the research of sociologists complain that men's work is already too hard, too dangerous, too destructive of mental health and wholeness. It all too often leads to sickness and 'worlds of pain,' demoralization and relatively early death. The men's role that feminists seek is not the real role of men but the male role of the Marxist dream in which 'society' does the work."

The prevailing self-fulfilling prophecy view of our culture is that it is impossible for men to be sole providers. In the last few years, though, as more and more women see how they have been betrayed by the feminist line that jobs are wonderful, many have been returning to the home. There are a number of books, magazine articles and support groups for women returning home.

One reason for returning home is financial. Pat Robertson in The Turning Tide, writes how women are beginning to see that feminism betrayed them in pushing careers. He says it doesn't even pay for women to work: "Study after study proves that the working wife and mother on average contributes little or nothing to the family financially. The additional income brought in by the working wife is more than offset by the additional taxes, the cost of additional clothes, makeup, hair care, car, transportation, lunch, expenses, day care for the children, all the other things it takes to keep her working." Another book on this topic is called Two Incomes and Still Broke. The author shows that many families are losing money by having the wife work.


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