If a woman serves her husband in a subordinate power position and the husband serves his wife then both complement each other. The husband claims all the achievements of the private realm through the wife and wife claims all the achievements of the public realm through the husband. Both are dependent on each other. And when their is true unity between bones and flesh then there is total happiness.
We must end the reversal of dominion that has plagued mankind. By saying this some will say I am being "antagonistic" because I do not go along with UC sisters who talk like Oprah who teaches that women have got to get rid of "the disease to please." I will criticize Oprah just as she criticizes traditionalists. This is a cultural war and we cannot mince our words. We must fight the good fight and that means that everyone is not going to love us at the beginning. I get the feeling that the UC is trying to win some popularity contest. The Washington Times isn't and it shouldn't. We should have guts and boldly say what is wrong and who is wrong and present our alternatives in these Last Days.
We cannot have a double standard where feminists can say what they like and anyone who disagrees with them is called "antagonistic." Everything is controversial. We cannot escape angering some people, even the majority sometimes. Even if we do our best to write in a dignified, respectful way and write with an attempt to have a good tone and spirit, we will always be accused as being Hitlers by some. The Andelins write no criticism and only present their viewpoint and still the feminists blast them in their critiques. I am not just going to present my views of how things should be and not go into the arguments of my opponents. Unlike the Andelins, when you read me, you read both sides of the arguments. Reagan called the Soviet Union an "evil" empire and the weak, liberal media was aghast. But Reagan was right in speaking the truth. He said in his "harsh" speech, "If history teaches anything, it teaches self-delusion in the face of unpleasant facts is folly." The UC is in denial. Weak men get scared when strong men talk tough and act tough toward what is evil. I am not demeaning women because I say sisters like Marilyn Morris teach the feminist line. I have been called Satan by angry feminists in the UC. I have been called "offensive." The truth is that they are dupes of Satan. They demean women. They are offensive. I have no interest in mincing my words. I notice that feminists have no problem with feminists using strong language, but go ballistic if someone uses strong words against them. This just proves even more that feminists are intellectually bankrupt.
The core of what I write -- the cornerstone -- is that happiness comes basically from having a true family. If you don't have a happy family how can you be happy? No one in the UC could help me have one. Lord knows I tried. I asked many members of the UC for help. Some of them held the highest positions in the UC. No one had a clue. No one had even one good idea for me and my wife. The Andelin's books taught us how to have a happy marriage and family. Helen's book is reviewed positively in the UC, but it seems that very few sisters have read it, and those that have don't live it. I don't think any brother has read Aubrey's book. I get the impression that brothers don't read anything about marriage. The result is that feminism rules in the UC, not the biblical values of the Andelins.
I write in a very blunt way. I have chosen to write in an "in your face" manner. I decided on the tactic of speaking strongly. Perhaps it isn't as effective as being gentle, but for now that's my style. Some members (usually sisters) have written to me saying I am "harsh" and "demeaning to women." I have studied men/women relationships thoroughly for years. I have a whole book about it titled The Cultural War Since 1848. I have been told by some that you can catch flies with honey, not vinegar. Aesop's fable about the warm sun getting the man to take off his coat worked better than the cold, harsh wind.
One of the reasons I chose not to write in a kinder, gentler style is because I don't see it working. I feel that it would be more effective to speak like a prophet -- to use words with more punch. Instead of being what some would call "sensitive," "loving," and "respectful" and saying someone's ideas are "wrong", I say they are "ridiculous." This upsets some people, but it also makes for more interesting reading to others. I can't please everyone. Father spoke strongly in all 50 states in America in his Day of Hope tour saying, "It was God's will that His people accept the Messiah. But we crucified him instead. And then Christians 'passed the buck' by saying that was the will of God. Ridiculous! This is not acceptable to our logic. Something must have gone terribly wrong. What was it?" Is Father being "harsh"? I don't think so. He has guts to speak the truth forcefully. He is accused of being anti-Semitic and anti-Christian. He is denounced as a fraud by Doris Orme -- one of the very first members to join in 1999. This battle we fight is fierce and messy. Father is not afraid of his critics who misread him. Father is critical of Jews and Christians and many types of people, but he also gives an alternative -- the Divine Principle.
To those who see me as unloving and unkind, I would like to point out that the Andelin's are not critical at all. They never "attack" Betty Friedan or Gloria Steinem. They never mention Roseanne who mocks Helen endlessly on prime time TV. They simply state their side with a loving tone. Do you think that encourages the opposition to write "kindly"? There are over 50 reviews of Helen's book, Fascinating Womanhood, at Amazon.com. She is called, and I quote, "insulting", "degrading", "absurd", "pathological", and "misogynist" and "sick." The truth, of course, is that this is all projection. Reviewers say they burned her book. They use words like "Yuck!"
One person wrote, "This is the worst book I have ever read. The author treats men as children needing control, and women as brainless idiots so desperate that they shed all dignity they have in order to be with a man. It does not deserve even 1 star."
Another wrote saying, "I read this book when it was first published, in the 60's. I was then a student at Brigham Young University, espousing the religion which Andelin claims as her inspiration. The fundamental theme underlying the entire book is contempt: contempt for men, contempt for women, contempt for marriage. To Andelin, men are so selfish and insecure that they have to be manipulated by preposterous and insincere displays of not just affection, but outright worship. Women are completely worthless except as support for men. And God is a Creator who supposedly designed these contemptible, vacuous creatures, and commands that they remain contemptible. One wonders why Andelin or anyone else would worship God at all, if He produced a race of such despicable beings and then demanded gratitude and worship for doing so. If you have any self-respect, if you have any respect for others, if you have any respect for marriage, then read this book only as a joke, or as an example of how sick and twisted a human's brain can become."
Many people simply cannot grasp what Helen is saying. To some of my readers I should simply say I feel they are "wrong" and not say anything that might make sound like Dr. Laura or Rush Limbaugh or Pat Buchanan. I should never say Helen's opponents are "stupid" or "vicious" or "idiots" or "dumb" or "possessed." I can't even say their arguments are "nonsense." Helen's opponents don't mince any words in this cultural war. One wrote saying, "Ms. Andelin suggests we submit to our alcoholic, selfish, abusive, obnoxious, gambling, womanizing husbands, because, after all, their little human frailties are all our fault! BLECH! This books sets feminism back 50 years! Read it for a good laugh, or give it as a gag gift for a wedding shower." Is this "unkind?" Could this be called "harsh?" We are in a brutal cultural war. Perhaps I'll change later and not say Marilyn Morris' writings in church literature is "demonic" and her logic is "ridiculous," but for now I'm letting it stand. Cal Thomas wrote in his newspaper column about the Republican convention in 2000 saying that the liberal media sees Republicans as "angry" people who are just plain "harsh." He writes, "Dan Rather repeatedly employed the word 'harsh'' in describing the GOP platform instead of allowing that its writers might be motivated by deep-seated convictions."
My opponents don't hold back. Neither do I. If I am called names like "unloving" by some, so be it. I know that my opponents are the unloving ones. Their ideology of feminism hurts. Those members who think they are beyond the God-centered truths in the Andelin's are not going to be simply called "wrong" by me. I am going to call their teachings "satanic", "evil", "cruel", "vicious" and every other strong word I can think of. I don't care if some think I am insulting. If I just said Marilyn Morris was "wrong" and left it at that, I would still be labeled "sick" just as the Andelin's are.
I like what some of the supporters of Helen wrote in their review of the book. One wrote saying, "After reading some of the other reviews, I agree that we are divided into two camps: the feminists, and those who aren't. I believe Helen is not a perfect person, but she does share some very good insights that have been so helpful. I think that those who shoot her down either do not understand what she is talking about or they did not apply it correctly in their own lives. You'd be disgusted with a supposedly wonderful recipe if it failed when you tried it, not realizing you left out an ingredient or did something wrong. May I suggest the error is not in the writer!"
Another wrote, "My father gave the book to my mother before they were married, and they have been married 28 great years. She passed it on to me when I was 16, and as I read it I thought Helen must be describing my Mom as her model. Mom is not a doormat by any means; she is a godly woman who teaches at a Christian school and Sunday school, and my dad and I don't know what we would do without her. But my dad is definitely the leader in the home, and I believe they have discovered the proper balance that God designed between love, leadership, and submission."
One person said, "As I read this book for the first time, the Lord opened my eyes and began to transform me. People can't believe I used to be a tomboy. After I read that book, I began receiving interest from many young men. It works, because it's the way we are designed. God made woman as the helpmate for the man, not for his slave. When a couple gets married, they are one flesh. Who would want to trample over part of themselves? There must be a leader, though -- how well would any company work if everyone had to be the president? Everyone is important to success, but they have different functions."
One woman titled her emailed review, "Heaven Sent" saying, "This book was given to me by my mother-in-law because she was trying to help me save my marriage. Reading this book was an eye-opener for me because I had done the opposite of everything recommended in the book. It was no wonder my husband was never around, didn't talk to me and didn't treat me kindly. I have started doing the things the book said to do and the change in my husband's attitude towards me has been miraculous. Things are going much better in our relationship than they were. The setbacks that occur I can attribute to not following the book.
"There are many negative commentaries about this book and the author's religion. This book is based on the Bible and its Christian precepts. It has the possibility of changing a person's perspective by making them aware of their own selfishness. It has been said that there would be a time when people would call good evil and evil good. What is so bad about a book that advocates loving and honoring your spouse which in turn creates happiness in your home and for your children? I just know that I have actually applied this book's teachings and they have worked. Read it with an open mind."
There are many good reviews. Here is one more: "It seems to me that this book has a great impact, whether positive or negative. I have to admit that it was hard to read. I had a hard time accepting some of the things she had to say about women and their role in the home. But what I finally realized was that she was only reiterating what the Scriptures say. Many think that this book is outdated. Do you also believe that the Bible is outdated? Do we put it aside because it is antiquated? I struggled long and hard over alot of the points Ms. Andelin made. But she is RIGHT! Why is it so hard for us to put our husbands first, or to think of someone before ourselves? Thank you so much, Ms. Andelin, for having the courage to write a book that has changed so many lives of the past, present, and future. God will truly bless you!"
I am not trying to make people feel good. I also do not want to be just judgmental, and I do not want everyone to wallow in guilt. If the UC is going to lead this world and heal this world, it will have to challenge people. Politicians and other fallen men have to go slow and usually do not hold very many absolute values. We are following a man who has brought absolute truths. We have "extreme" views. We should not be afraid of what our critics will say when we proclaim that everyone will speak Korean and read Father in his language. That many in the UC cannot see that there are absolute roles for men and women in our long list of absolute values is a serious character flaw in our church, federation, movement or whatever we call ourselves. Because of this mistake in deeply misunderstanding the Three Blessings, especially the Second Blessing, we have failed. The severe criticism that George W. Bush gave to the Clinton administration fits the UC -- "So much promise, to no great purpose."
To those who focus on saying my form is "harsh" and and my content is "unprincipled," I ask for a detailed analysis of our sad reality of no growth with a critique and counterproposal to me. Show me the blueprint for growth. The UC has none. I have one. You may not like it, but at least I have one. There is virtually no one joining and bowing to True Parents as the saviors of this world and making it their life's goal to study Father in Korean. Until someone comes up with a realistic plan to get at least each family in the UC to convert just one person per year, why not try mine? How could it hurt? There is no where to go but up in the UC. At the church center near me the Korean leader said at the beginning of 2000 in a Sunday sermon that Father demands that every family gets at least one person to join this year. Then those people are to get one person in a year, and so on. In a few years we would have millions of members. Guess what steps have been taken to see this happen? None. No one even talks about this goal, let alone do anything. Father's message went through one ear and out the other. Why? No one knows and most don't care. I humbly submit I do know why and exactly what we must do to get our movement out of its rut.
The kingdom of heaven is inclusive to people who share absolute, sacred values (some of which are clearly written in the Andelin's books) and eventually everyone will share those values just as everyone now believes that the earth is round. Until that time there will be a growth period in which we must go into the arguments of the flat earth society in a public debate and persuade everyone to understand that the earth is round and a woman's place is in the home.
Why has there been virtually no growth in the Unification Movement for the last 40 years? It is because there is so little truth and love there. The majority of Unificationists speak with a forked tongue. They denounce feminism in one breath and then proceed to live and teach it with relish. They say (as we have seen Josette Shiner write) they believe in traditional family values and then confidently lead a feminist lifestyle that would put a smile from ear to ear on Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem's face.
I have communicated with many members and they have (with a few exceptions) gone over to the dark side. When they stop being digested by our feminist culture, then they will grow. They can feed donuts to ministers and fancy meals to politicians and pray at Chung Pyung Lake till the cows come home, but they will not see any new faces at Sunday service that have found God and transformed their lives with the Divine Principle. Unificationists are nice people. But they have sadly been brainwashed by the alternative lifestyles of the leaders of the so-called women's liberation movement. And they suffer for it. My family suffered because of it. But one day a blessed sister gave me a book to give to my wife. I had left my family to go on one of my many walkabouts in search of help to save my marriage and this time had ended up in Seattle. Rev. Pak did not have a clue to what I should do. I spent a week at Windermere and talked to elders and members and no one could help. There is no marriage counseling in the UC. You are on your own.
I limped back home and gave my wife the book and went into another dark depression. But a miracle happened in our family. My wife started applying the heavenly principles taught in Fascinating Womanhood and our marriage began to improve. Then my wife bought many copies of this best-selling paperback. There is a funny Star Trek episode where little furry beings started multiplying and taking over the starship Enterprise. I thought that this was happening in our home. Everywhere I went I saw this paperback. They were everywhere. Our kids had scattered them all over the house. I asked my wife what in the world was going on with all these books. She said she had bought a lot of copies and was going to send them to everyone she knew.
I sat down and sure enough there was one of these pink books sitting on the end table next to me. This is obviously not a book any man would be interested in but spirit world had other ideas for me. I picked it up and started to read. Light bulbs went on. My heart was pounding. I read about 20 pages and couldn't stand it anymore. I went into the kitchen where my wife was cooking dinner and blurted out something about how this is the truth I had been looking for and now we could have a harmonious marriage instead of the roller coaster one we had. I learned the rules of marriage. Helen Andelin mentioned in her book that her husband had a book for men. I remember how I was almost trembling as I called the library to see if they had a copy. They did and I raced down to get Man of Steel and Velvet. The rest is history. It had never occurred to me to study marriage books. I then checked out every single relationship book at the library. That was over 10 years ago. Six years ago my wife and I decided to share with our brothers and sisters what we had learned in our studies.
Our articles in the UNews were denounced by such prominent sisters as Marilyn Morris, Cheryl Wetzstein and Catherine Ono. These sisters refuse to have a dialogue with me and my wife about their opposing views. Recently (2000) I tried to call Marilyn and she did not want to talk. I had my eldest son, Jonathan, call her. She told him she felt better talking to him than me, but she said she did not want to discuss this issue. I am left with no choice but to air the dirty laundry in our church publicly. Sisters like Marilyn continually publish in UC literature that there are no god given roles for men and women. This goes against what is written in the Bible, the Andelins and, I believe, in Father's words. I say God wants men to lead, protect and guide women while women are to homeschool and care for the elderly and be a helpmate to her husband. If she leaves the home and competes with men she loses her femininity, her family declines, our church gets into a rut of no growth, and America is weakened.
Some Unificationists passionately disagree with me. They delude themselves they have achieved Headwing marriages, but they are all doing some form of feminist alternative marriage or they have a traditional marriage. There are only two roads we can go down. Either the woman dominates men or is dominated by other men outside the home or she does not. Either she earns money or she does not. If she makes money, invests money or worries about money she is in the feminist world. If she doesn't, then she is in the traditional world. The traditional world is part of Headwing. There is more love and heart and selflessness in the one than the other.
I know this from first hand experience, from looking around me, from study of books, and from common sense. There are rules in life. Don't eat the fruit was an important one that Eve neglected to follow. Adam did not take leadership and he was tempted. Eve was disorderly and Adam was weak. Tocqueville said in 1830 that if America was tempted and embraced by feminism from Europe its women would become "disorderly" and its men "weak." Take a look around and what do you see? College campuses have ugly unisex blue jeans for girls who compete with men for jobs. You will not see college girls wearing frilly dresses and studying home ec so she can take care of her future 12 children. What are Unificationist parents teaching their daughters? Fascinating Womanhood? Are boys in the UC being taught Aubrey Andelin's Man of Steel and Velvet? My wife and I have taken our children out of public schools and teach them the values in these books and we have many quotes from Father that back up what we say.